Romantic Love
Why is unrequited romantic love the only kind of love that hurts so much?
Which is higher, romantic love or friendship? Isn’t it friendship, since it lasts forever, but romantic love doesn’t?
What makes friendship love different from romantic love? They’re both still love, and love entails obligations toward the other party, and love between friends can be very strong, so why is there a nature of exclusivity between lovers? Why are there more obligations (see responsible good)?
Why is it that you can love somebody but they’re not right for you? Isn’t love supposed to be the most important thing? But something’s missing from the equation here.
Why is it that that most powerful and magical of all human feelings – romantic love – can turn out to be so cheap in the end? You would think that something so exalted and divine could never be allowed to mean nothing. Does this cheapen all of it?
Why do people make such a big deal out of romantic love if it only lasts 4 years? Why would romantic love only last 4 years?
It really bothers me that all the love stories never cover real life. The love story ends with marriage and that’s it. There’s a huge disconnect between abstract love and the real world. I’m not saying we should start including life after marriage in love stories. By no means. What I’m saying is that this exclusion means something, and I’m not sure I like it. On the other hand, I don’t know what this exclusion means. What’s the point of romantic love if, once united, there’s no longer any story?
What separates romantic love from all other love? You know what’s funny? I think it’s all physical. And think about it – the consummation of romantic love is sex, which is its physical manifestation and ultimate fruit. So it’d make sense if romantic love was also based in the physical.
See, somebody can have everything you're looking for in a romantic companion, but if they’re not your type (physically), you’ll never see them as a wo/man, just a friend. It’s sad and shouldn’t be like this and doesn’t make sense. Now friendship is good, and can go deep, but it’s not romance. And it sure doesn’t give you the heady feeling that romance does. Likewise, a person may be totally wrong for you, but if the physical attraction is there, then you feel that romance again.
Also, I think most women wouldn't fall in love just on looks. If there was no chemistry or things in common, their appearance itself wouldn’t create it, as I suppose it would do for a man. Now it may or may not for a man, but I think it could, and that’s the difference. So I think this is more true of men than women.
But why on earth should it be like this!? Is the physical really so important? What’s going on here? I’m starting to get cynical about romantic love.
So it’s not really love that hurts, but romantic interest.
Why is romantic love the only kind of love that includes a physical ritual (sex)?
What’s marriage to God anyway? Arranged marriages confuse me. It seems to me that the marriage is valid and important to God, even though the only thing the two have in common is that they have sex together. They’re sex partners. But does that make a marriage? What if that’s all they have in common, as that is the only thing they’ll have in common at the beginning?
There have been changes in the concept of romance in history, and this relates to arranged marriage and whether we should question our perceptions of love and marriage. I also think that before, marriage was more masculine, but now it favors women.
This parallels sex. In an arranged marriage, the couple has sex without knowing each other, which is easy for a man to do. Then love grows later on. In a love marriage, the man has to woo the woman, then she agrees to marry him (that is, have sex with him). Therefore, it is much more romantic. In the masculine model, it’s mechanical.
If romantic love eventually dies away, what’s the point of being married? What defines marriage? Just sex? Likewise, if your wife’s going to be old and ugly one day, why would you want to get married?
If romantic love ends in heaven (or rather, at death), can it also end while we’re still on earth?
I find it disturbing that something that ought to be so spiritual (romantic love) is based on the physical, not only with physical attraction, but even more so in MHC dissimilarity, which is completely physical. At least with physical (visual) attraction, you can say some person embodies a certain "type", a type being spiritual in nature, but you can't say the same thing about MHC. Of course, the studies only show a general trend and can't say anything about actual married couples and the success of their marriages, so perhaps in real life the spiritual does overcome the physical, but I wouldn't be surprised if the physical didn't get its say too.
What makes chemistry? Can we ever understand it well enough to predict it?
If we're not supposed to be superficial, why is it that God created women to be beautiful if it shouldn't matter?
Seems that men don't suffer from unrequited love the way women do. If a woman doesn't have her husband's love it kills her, but for a man, as long as his female companion is willing to live with him and be faithful, that's good enough.
If people can love multiple people romantically, why does polyamory not work? What about romantic love makes it exclusive? And if it is by nature exclusive, why can people love multiple people?
Men are enchanted by women. Likewise, is a woman ever smitten?
Why do little boys fall in love with their teachers, but little girls don't?
Men win women, but women catch men.
Which is higher, romantic love or friendship? Isn’t it friendship, since it lasts forever, but romantic love doesn’t?
What makes friendship love different from romantic love? They’re both still love, and love entails obligations toward the other party, and love between friends can be very strong, so why is there a nature of exclusivity between lovers? Why are there more obligations (see responsible good)?
Why is it that you can love somebody but they’re not right for you? Isn’t love supposed to be the most important thing? But something’s missing from the equation here.
Why is it that that most powerful and magical of all human feelings – romantic love – can turn out to be so cheap in the end? You would think that something so exalted and divine could never be allowed to mean nothing. Does this cheapen all of it?
Why do people make such a big deal out of romantic love if it only lasts 4 years? Why would romantic love only last 4 years?
It really bothers me that all the love stories never cover real life. The love story ends with marriage and that’s it. There’s a huge disconnect between abstract love and the real world. I’m not saying we should start including life after marriage in love stories. By no means. What I’m saying is that this exclusion means something, and I’m not sure I like it. On the other hand, I don’t know what this exclusion means. What’s the point of romantic love if, once united, there’s no longer any story?
What separates romantic love from all other love? You know what’s funny? I think it’s all physical. And think about it – the consummation of romantic love is sex, which is its physical manifestation and ultimate fruit. So it’d make sense if romantic love was also based in the physical.
See, somebody can have everything you're looking for in a romantic companion, but if they’re not your type (physically), you’ll never see them as a wo/man, just a friend. It’s sad and shouldn’t be like this and doesn’t make sense. Now friendship is good, and can go deep, but it’s not romance. And it sure doesn’t give you the heady feeling that romance does. Likewise, a person may be totally wrong for you, but if the physical attraction is there, then you feel that romance again.
Also, I think most women wouldn't fall in love just on looks. If there was no chemistry or things in common, their appearance itself wouldn’t create it, as I suppose it would do for a man. Now it may or may not for a man, but I think it could, and that’s the difference. So I think this is more true of men than women.
But why on earth should it be like this!? Is the physical really so important? What’s going on here? I’m starting to get cynical about romantic love.
So it’s not really love that hurts, but romantic interest.
Why is romantic love the only kind of love that includes a physical ritual (sex)?
What’s marriage to God anyway? Arranged marriages confuse me. It seems to me that the marriage is valid and important to God, even though the only thing the two have in common is that they have sex together. They’re sex partners. But does that make a marriage? What if that’s all they have in common, as that is the only thing they’ll have in common at the beginning?
There have been changes in the concept of romance in history, and this relates to arranged marriage and whether we should question our perceptions of love and marriage. I also think that before, marriage was more masculine, but now it favors women.
This parallels sex. In an arranged marriage, the couple has sex without knowing each other, which is easy for a man to do. Then love grows later on. In a love marriage, the man has to woo the woman, then she agrees to marry him (that is, have sex with him). Therefore, it is much more romantic. In the masculine model, it’s mechanical.
If romantic love eventually dies away, what’s the point of being married? What defines marriage? Just sex? Likewise, if your wife’s going to be old and ugly one day, why would you want to get married?
If romantic love ends in heaven (or rather, at death), can it also end while we’re still on earth?
I find it disturbing that something that ought to be so spiritual (romantic love) is based on the physical, not only with physical attraction, but even more so in MHC dissimilarity, which is completely physical. At least with physical (visual) attraction, you can say some person embodies a certain "type", a type being spiritual in nature, but you can't say the same thing about MHC. Of course, the studies only show a general trend and can't say anything about actual married couples and the success of their marriages, so perhaps in real life the spiritual does overcome the physical, but I wouldn't be surprised if the physical didn't get its say too.
What makes chemistry? Can we ever understand it well enough to predict it?
If we're not supposed to be superficial, why is it that God created women to be beautiful if it shouldn't matter?
Seems that men don't suffer from unrequited love the way women do. If a woman doesn't have her husband's love it kills her, but for a man, as long as his female companion is willing to live with him and be faithful, that's good enough.
If people can love multiple people romantically, why does polyamory not work? What about romantic love makes it exclusive? And if it is by nature exclusive, why can people love multiple people?
Men are enchanted by women. Likewise, is a woman ever smitten?
Why do little boys fall in love with their teachers, but little girls don't?
Men win women, but women catch men.